Randomness

The truth is supposed to set me free… 

I want to be free from the pain, free from the cycle that I began with you. The cycle of falling for the already taken. The cycle of waiting on something that that doesn’t wait for me. The cycle of being hurt time after time. Im tired and I cant do this any more. Im chasing clouds with you love, and with my bleeding feet and weakened spirit, I am done. I chose this just as the love chose me. I feel that Im waiting for the restless and Im craving the inedible. I cant do this anymore. The cycle began with you, my first love, or what I thought was so, and its ending now. I cant continue to lose myself in false promises and a fairy-tale future. I cant continue to think what could be, and wait on such things to come true. I have to move one and close this chapter. I blame you for nothing, only myself for allowing all that has happen to continue to happen time after time. Truth is that I know another has your heart, and Im woman enough to be able to let what I’ve been chasing so long go. I wear my friend hat proudly, and for you I will always be. I want nothing more than for you to find your peace. Peace with yourself, who you are, I only wish that you can see the potential that I see in you. I hope that you continue to grow, and sometimes you have to let people go in order to so that. I hope you understand what you are meant to do and be. I wish nothing but the best for you and I have nothing but the most love and respect and I would hope that you will have the same for me. I want truth and understanding and your confusion bothers me, and although I have been patient, I am done with the “lover” aspect of our relationship. I could wait, but I wouldn’t be being fair to myself, and in the end would end up resenting you for it. I am working on me and I want closure in all of my former relationships, and it starts with getting it from you. Im closing that part of our relationship, for good, but always remaining your friend and lending an ear when you need it. I pray for closure, and although you may not know it, you confirmed it for me loud and clear. I am not angry, resentful, or even upset, I am happy and I want you to be too. I love you dear friend and I want nothing but the best for you and your endeavors. I am here when you need me and you know that, and although we may not speak as much as we used to, that will never stop. My loyalty to our friendship remains strong and unbreakable. “Lay on your paws I got your back if you fall, Nothing’s to big, nothing’s to small…You got me I got you, Dog with a dog, ride till we die If it’s on then it’s on” :)

Straight focused on school, nothing else. I dont have time for the drama that was encompassing some relationships I had, im bout like f it all. Im focusing on me this time. Just me, my spiritual, physical, and emotional cleansing time. I will have fun, I wont be completely alone though, im using this time to get closure on some things in previous relationships, and maybe rekindling or starting a new one. MAYBE! Im digging the single thing right now. Im gonna try and hustle up some money to take this summer class that has to be payed for by my bday so I can get this g.p.a. sexy. I have so much to do that being lazy is not an option, im hustling and Im about to go harder, can we say “praying for 3 jobs,” yea its crazy as heck but I have to do what I need to to survive and get my education. If I cant take the class I gotta be prepared to pay for what my scholarships cant in the Fall. In the end when you cant make it, God can help you through, and Im praying for success. Im bound for great things, and no one will stop me. Like I said, Im doing me. Enemy beware! Yall cant touch me! This is my season. God is definitely working on me, and im learning day by day. Im cleaving to some of the wrong things, and Im ready to let them go!  You guys have a good summer, I’ll holla a little bit later <3

Im ready to be in a relationship, this just friends biz is just getting old really quick and my patience is short. Im tired of moody people too, the ones that just love you one week and you dont hear from them the next then they love you again. I like consistency and if you gonna be one way be that way all the time.

Naa nt rly